Living Inside Out with Toks

Hello, and welcome back to Living Inside Out! This episode is close to my heart because we’re diving into a topic that affects so many of us; self-consciousness. Whether you’re a student, an entrepreneur, or someone just trying to figure things out, that nagging voice in your head saying, “What will they think?” can hold you back from truly living your life.

 

This week, I had the privilege of guest-lecturing at Goldsmiths, University of London. I was invited to teach a class on Entrepreneurship to the Master’s students studying Luxury Brand Management. Let me tell you, I was in my zone! Speaking to others about mindset, growth, and living authentically is one of the ways I come alive. But the truth is, this wasn’t always the case. Years ago, I struggled with self-consciousness and the fear of being judged. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone, and this episode is for you.

 

Here’s what we cover in this episode:

•The Realisation That Set Me Free: Why nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are, and how this can change your perspective on storytelling and vulnerability.

•The Difference Between Authenticity and Oversharing: How to share your story in a way that inspires and uplifts, not just to vent or seek validation.

•Three Practical Steps to Telling Your Story Boldly:

1.Get to Know Yourself: Why self-discovery is the foundation of authenticity.

2.Examine Your Intentions: Understanding the why behind your words and actions.

3.Write It Out First: How crafting and owning your story beforehand can turn self-consciousness into confidence.

 

One of the students at Goldsmiths asked me a fantastic question: “How come you’re so bold in sharing authentically?” Her concern, like many of us, was rooted in the fear of being judged. My answer? Nobody is keeping score. Most people are busy being the star of their own story, and what they think of you often says more about them than it does about you.

 

We’ll also explore how to handle those who genuinely critique or misunderstand you and why their opinions are, frankly, none of your business.

 

Lastly, I’ll share why it’s important to only share what you’re comfortable with and have healed from. Your story is powerful, but it’s not a dumping ground for unresolved emotions.

 

Resources Mentioned:

•Proverbs 20:5
The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. 

•Choose your Mindset Course or Workshops: Your mindset is your foundation. Learn how to tell your story authentically while building your personal brand.

•Episode #106 (sorry I said 105 but its 106) On handling the Facebook disruption.

•Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and YouTube! Let’s continue the conversation.

 

Subscribe and Review:

If this episode spoke to you, I’d love it if you could give the podcast a 5-star rating. It helps others find the show and keeps the content coming!

 

As always, thank you for listening and being part of this amazing community. Until next time, remember to live from the inside out. You’ve got this! ❤️

 

Toks

 

What do you do when something unexpected, like being locked out of your Facebook accounts, threatens to derail your day and disrupt your business? In this episode, I share my journey through a recent digital crisis, highlighting the steps I took to stay calm, productive, and resilient. From managing the initial panic to leaning on faith, family, and routines, this episode is packed with practical lessons for handling challenges with grace and perspective.

 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

•How to manage panic and regain control in moments of uncertainty.

•The importance of taking practical steps while knowing when to step away.

•Why routines are essential guardrails in times of chaos.

•Leadership tips for setting the tone during a crisis.

•How to gain a healthier perspective on challenges by anchoring yourself in faith, family, and context.

•The critical lesson of not putting all your digital eggs in one basket.

•How to plan for the future to mitigate risks and strengthen your business.

 

While this experience is related to my business, the tips and strategies I share will work in your personal life too. We cannot avoid disruptions, but we can regain control if we manage it properly.

 

Have you experienced a digital disruption or unexpected challenge in your business? Share your story with me on [LinkedIn](your link) or [Instagram](your link). Let’s start a conversation about staying resilient and prepared for the unexpected.

 

Resource:

•Tips for preventing a Facebook suspension:

https://chatterblast.com/blog/it-happened-to-me-staying-calm-when-facebook-suspends-your-account/

 

 

Connect with Me:

•Website

• LinkedIn

•Instagram

If you enjoyed this episode, I’d love for you to subscribe to the podcast so you never miss an update. And if you found this conversation helpful, please take a moment to rate and review it—it really helps to spread the word and reach more people who could benefit from these insights. Your support means so much to me. Thank you!

 

In this inspiring episode, Toks speaks with Getrude Matshe—3-time TEDx Speaker, author, serial social entrepreneur, and philanthropy consultant. Getrude, known for her vibrant energy and commitment to empowering women, shares her insights on finding one’s purpose and using it to uplift others. The conversation explores her journey, her belief in the African philosophy of Ubuntu, and her mission to educate and empower Africa’s next generation. Getrude’s story is one of resilience, self-belief, and an unbreakable commitment to community and unity.

Key Takeaways

• Embracing Responsibility: Getrude shares her powerful experience of taking on the responsibility of raising 49 children orphaned by HIV. Her story exemplifies the Ubuntu philosophy—"I am because we are"—and her deep-rooted belief in uplifting her community.

• Ubuntu in All Areas of Life: Getrude describes the Ubuntu philosophy and its wide-reaching impact across various fields, from business to technology. Ubuntu is about recognising our interconnectedness and using it to drive success, unity, and compassion.

• Philanthropy Starts at Home: For Getrude, being philanthropic isn’t just about large-scale projects; it’s about supporting those closest to us first. Building strong relationships at home can be the foundation for creating positive ripples in the wider community.

• Overcoming Self-Doubt: Getrude shares her empowering affirmation for self-doubt: “Listen, I need to do this; I know I have the ability to do this.” Her resilience and inner drive are a testament to the strength that comes from believing in one’s capabilities.

• Trusting Your Ideas: According to Getrude, if you have an idea, you already have the inherent knowledge and ability to bring it to life. Her advice encourages listeners to take action on their passions and trust in their potential.

• Redefining Failure: Failure, for Getrude, is simply the act of not trying. She shares her perspective that life’s setbacks are stepping stones to growth and that the real failure lies in ignoring a desire to act. With this mindset, Getrude has been able to embrace challenges and learn from every experience.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to find purpose, strengthen their community, and overcome the fear of failure. Getrude’s journey is a powerful reminder that purpose and passion can drive positive change in ourselves and those around us.

 

NEXT STEPS:

If you need support, feel free to email Toks at pa@toksaruoture.com. As a certified coach, she helps individuals overcome limiting thoughts and unlock their full potential. Connect with us on social media @toksaruoture for daily inspiration and insights.

Have you subscribed to this podcast? If not, why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Also, head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to Living Inside Out, for more impactful conversations and personal growth content.

We would love to connect with you on social! Let’s stay in touch on toksaruoture.com and hang out on Instagram @toksaruoture and on Facebook at Living Inside Out.

Thank you for listening, and see you next time on Living Inside Out!

In This Powerful Episode of Living Inside Out, Toks Sits Down with Elizabeth Solaru

 

In this episode, Toks Aruoture has an inspiring conversation with Elizabeth Solaru, a multi-award-winning luxury business consultant, author of The Luxpreneur, and former microbiologist turned cake artist. Elizabeth’s journey from science to the world of luxury and entrepreneurship is filled with incredible insights and transformative lessons on building a brand, finding your unique voice, and embracing authenticity.

 

Key Topics Covered:

 

•The Power of Authenticity: Elizabeth shares how staying true to yourself is essential when building a luxury brand. She explores how authenticity not only attracts the right audience but also strengthens brand loyalty.

•Building a Successful Luxury Brand: Learn the fundamentals of luxury branding, from mindset to strategy, and how Elizabeth built her own brand from the ground up while maintaining integrity and excellence.

•The Power of Storytelling in Business: Elizabeth delves into the importance of storytelling in creating a compelling brand narrative that resonates with clients and sets your brand apart in the luxury market.

•Diversity in Luxury: As the founder of the Diversity in Luxury Awards, Elizabeth also touches on the need for inclusivity and how diversity is reshaping the luxury industry.

 

Key Takeaways:

 

•Embrace Your Authenticity and Move Forward: Elizabeth reminds us to “Do it Afraid”—take risks and step forward even when facing fear or doubt.

•Luxury Starts with You: True luxury begins within, with a mindset focused on excellence, self-worth, and the value you bring to others.

•The 5 Key Pillars of a Luxury Mindset: Elizabeth outlines the foundational elements needed to develop a luxury mindset, essential for anyone aspiring to build a brand in this space.

 

Resources Mentioned:

 

•The Luxpreneur by Elizabeth Solaru – A must-read for those looking to elevate their business through the principles of luxury and authenticity.

•Diversity in Luxury Awards – A groundbreaking initiative recognising excellence and inclusivity within the luxury industry.

 

Connect with Elizabeth Solaru:

 

•Instagram: @elizabethsolaru – Follow Elizabeth for insights and inspiration in luxury, entrepreneurship, and personal growth.

•Website: ElizabethSolauru.com – Learn more about her consultancy, upcoming events, and luxury courses.

•LinkedIn: Elizabeth Solaru – Connect with Elizabeth for more professional insights and opportunities.

 

Listen to this Episode on:

Let's talk about the reality of burnout—a hidden culprit behind feelings of exhaustion, detachment, and lack of motivation. Drawing from my recent experience, I’ll walk you through what burnout really looks like, the subtle signs to watch for, and practical ways to move from depletion to revitalisation. Whether you’re feeling a general sense of dreariness or struggling to find your motivation, this episode will offer insights, solutions, and encouragement to help you reclaim your spark.

 

Key Points:

 

1. What is Burnout?

Burnout is a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion resulting from prolonged stress. It can impact your motivation, emotional health, and even your physical well-being.

2. Signs of Burnout:

•Physical and Emotional Exhaustion: Feeling drained, fatigued, and unable to recover.

•Decreased Motivation: Finding it hard to stay productive and motivated.

•Detachment and Isolation: Withdrawing from relationships or feeling disconnected.

•Irritability and Frustration: Easily triggered by small stressors.

•Difficulty Concentrating: Struggling with focus and memory.

3. My Personal Journey Through Burnout:

•I share my own recent experience with burnout, how I recognised it, and the challenges I faced in acknowledging it.

4. Solutions for Alleviating Burnout:

•Set Boundaries: Protect your personal time by creating clear work-life boundaries.

•Prioritise Rest: Make rest and sleep a consistent priority.

•Practice Self-Compassion: Allow yourself grace, and remember that healing takes time.

•Engage in Physical Activity: Move in ways that feel good to you, even if it’s a short walk.

•Seek Support: Find people or communities to connect with, whether friends, family, or professional support.

5. Inspiration and Action:

•Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences, recognise signs of burnout, and implement one small step towards reclaiming balance.

 

Key Takeaways:

 

•Burnout can sneak up on us, especially when we feel unmotivated or weary without a clear reason.

•Recognising signs of burnout is crucial for taking steps towards recovery and finding joy in everyday life again.

•Solutions exist, and they’re often simpler than we realise, from setting boundaries to practising self-compassion.

 

Next Steps:

If you’re feeling exhausted or struggling with motivation, take a moment to assess where you might need rest or support. Small changes can have a powerful impact. Let this episode be your guide in moving from burnout to balance.

In this episode, I had an incredible conversation with Shadé Akande, founder of ONE X LEAGUE. Shadé, raised as a first-generation American by Nigerian parents, shares her experiences of navigating culture clashes, embracing risk, and learning to trust herself—lessons that shaped her personal and professional journey.

You can watch this episode on YouTube

 

We dive into:

 

•Growing Up Nigerian-American: Shadé talks about the culture clashes of being raised by Nigerian parents in the United States and how those experiences influenced her career choices and personal growth.

•Career Evolution: From the fashion industry to HR at some of the biggest global companies like Google and Verizon, Shadé explains how each step in her career taught her more about people and herself.

•Launching ONE X LEAGUE: Shadé shares the mission behind ONE X LEAGUE, a private membership for Black and Afro-Latina executive women, and the upcoming ONE SUITE RETREAT, a retreat for Black executives, both male and female, happening in February next year.

•Risk-Taking and Resilience: We discuss the importance of taking risks, learning from failures, and building resilience in the face of entrepreneurship challenges.

•Building Your Tribe: A major theme of our conversation revolves around creating a supportive network. Shadé shares insights on how to build a tribe of mentors and supporters and reflects on our own trip to the Amalfi Coast, where we strengthened our community of women.

•Mentorship: We also explore how mentorship plays a vital role in personal and professional growth, and how to find the right mentors if you’re just starting out.

 

Shadé’s story is filled with practical insights and powerful lessons for anyone looking to take charge of their career, build resilience, and create a supportive network.

 

Next Steps:

If you loved this episode, make sure to subscribe and leave a review! You can connect with Shadé and learn more about ONE X LEAGUE at onexleague.com.  Stay tuned for more insightful conversations, and follow us on @toksa to never miss an episode!

Welcome back to Living Inside Out! After a brief hiatus, we’re back with a fresh new look and an exciting direction for the podcast. In this first episode of our new season, Toks Aruoture reflects on the journey so far, shares some of the lessons learned along the way, and gives you a sneak peek into what’s to come.

 

Here’s what you’ll hear in today’s episode:

 • Why taking a step back and pausing to reflect was so important.

 • A deep dive into the lessons Toks has learned over the past few years, including insights on faith, burnout, and personal growth.

 • An exciting new direction for the podcast, with more interviews, deeper conversations, and transparency about Toks’ own personal journey.

 • A look ahead at some incredible upcoming guests—people you’re familiar with and new voices to inspire you.
 • How this season has been designed with YOU in mind, offering insights and conversations that will help you live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

 

Key Lessons from Today’s Episode:

 • “Nothing has meaning except the meaning you give it” – A powerful reflection on how we can frame our experiences and challenges.

 • The importance of aligning with your purpose and reassessing where you’re headed.

 • How to take care of yourself in the process and avoid burnout while still moving forward in life.

We’re thrilled to be back and can’t wait to continue this journey with you!

 

Your next steps:

If you loved today’s episode, be sure to:

 1. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to catch the new video episodes, interviews, and more.

 2. Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform so you never miss an episode—whether it’s Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.

 3. And don’t forget, the waitlist is still open for our Get Unstuck program which begins on the 1st of November. It’s your chance to join a transformational journey to move forward in life with purpose and clarity.

Join the wait list to be considered

 

Resources

Introduction: A Perfect Storm

The Future is Superior to the Present 

Toxic Friendships: Six Types of Friends to Avoid

Get Unstuck Wait List

If you need support, email pa@toksaruoture.com. As a certified coach, I help individuals overcome limiting thoughts. Connect with me on social media @toksaruoture.

 

Have you subscribed to this podcast? Why don’t you do so on your favourite podcast app? Then head to Youtube.com/toksaruoture to watch and subscribe to my show, Living Inside Out.

I would LOVE to connect with you on social; let's stay in touch at toksauoture.com and hang out together on Instagram- @toksaruoture and on Facebook, Living Inside Out.

 

See you next time on Living Inside Out!

Welcome to episode #100! Thank you for sticking with me through 100 episodes of this podcast journey.

This episode marks a special milestone—my continued conversation with Suzy, where we dive deep into the theme "Talk is Cheap, Actions Speak Louder than Words." Yes, it's a powerful message, and I'm thrilled to share it with you.

We often hear the saying, "Listen closely with your eyes." This episode is all about that—paying attention to the actions around us and the stories they tell. Suzy and I discuss how actions reveal true intentions and character far more than words ever could.

Reflecting on my past journals, I talk about the importance of not comparing one circumstance to another. Life gives us trials, but we are equipped to handle them. Comparing our past selves to our present can be a trap; instead, we should embrace our journey and growth.

Join us in this episode, part two of two, of Life Lessons with Suzy and Toks.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch the recording to see our cheerful faces 😊.

Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you!

Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events:

• Email: pa@toksaruoture.com

• Instagram: Toks Aruoture

• LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture

Welcome to episode #99! I thank you for riding with me through 99 episodes of my podcast.

This episode has been a long time coming—my conversation with Suzy on the life lessons we learned in 2023! Yes, I know, 19 months later, but we made it, and that’s what counts, right?

 

One cannot quantify the benefits of having the right people in your space. Besides having good friends who watch your back, make great company, and lend a listening ear, we should have wise people who plant words of life in and around us.

 

We also have a responsibility to ourselves to learn the lessons that life teaches us. Last year, I learned that life is not a straight line. Somehow, we were led to believe that the kinks and bends in our paths should be straightened. Consequently, many of us have spent months fixing what isn’t broken because the idea of an imperfect journey doesn’t sit well with us.

 

Since our last conversation, which was well received, Suzy’s divorce has been finalised, and she is living her best life. At the time of our previous recording, it was impossible to imagine the freedom she would experience. Yes, we knew it would happen, but when you are in the trenches, all you can see is mud and dead weight. Meanwhile, I have survived a long, challenging season of my own and share some of the lessons that came out of it and some tools to navigate rough terrains.

 

Join us in this episode, part one of two, of Life Lessons with Suzy and Toks.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch the recording to see our cheerful faces 😊.

Connect with Me: I would love to hear from you! Connect with me on social media and stay updated with the latest news and events:
 • Email: pa@toksaruoture.com
 • Instagram: Toks Aruoture
 • LinkedIn: Toks Aruoture
 

Contact Information

 • Email: pa@toksaruoture.com

This week on Living Inside Out, we dive deep into the roots of weariness and its impact on our lives and goals. Toks explores how chronic disappointments can spiral into discouragement, hopelessness, apathy, and even depression. Discover practical strategies to stay energised and focused on your God-given purpose, despite the enemy’s attempts to derail you.

Episode Highlights:

 • Understanding Weariness: Learn how repeated disappointments lead to discouragement, and how this can devolve into hopelessness and depression. Depression is described as a dark pit of hopelessness, a place where defeat feels inescapable.
 • Spiritual Perspective: Understand how the enemy uses weariness to prevent us from fulfilling our purpose. Explore how God’s purpose aligns with our deepest desires, and why staying energised is crucial to achieving our goals.
 • Personal Testimony: Hear a personal story of unwavering belief in a future vision, despite facing logical reasons to give up. Discover the power of holding onto your dreams even in the face of weariness.
 • Common Causes of Overwhelm: Identify key factors contributing to weariness, such as overwork, stress, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and emotional burdens.
 • Three Dimensions of Existence: Delve into the interconnectedness of our physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions. Get a sneak peek into how spiritual battles influence our weariness and the hope in God’s promise of overcoming the world.
 • Recognising Signs of Weariness: Learn about the physical and emotional signs of weariness, from chronic fatigue and headaches to irritability and lack of motivation. Understand how our modern habits, like consuming short content on social media, contribute to emotional and mental fatigue.

Practical Tips to Stay Energised:

 1. Physical Health: Prioritise sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular exercise to maintain energy levels.
 2. Mental and Emotional Well-being: Practice mindfulness, take regular breaks, and nurture positive relationships.
 3. Spiritual Practices: Engage in regular prayer and meditation for peace and rejuvenation, and connect with a faith community for support.